Year One: The Beginning of What Could Have Been: Part 1
As the months went by since the end of the saga with Gaby, I was a bit numb. I was still working as a mail clerk in the Customer Service Correspondence Unit, and was actually enjoying my job. Upon my return I had been bombarded with questions about how the trip went, and if I had the wonderful love filled trip that I had thought I was going to have. Much to their dismay though, my co-workers learned of the true story. I don't know if this might have made them a bit more in touch with me, or if they were just pitying me. Either way, I got a bit closer to my co-workers. Where as before I never talked much with them, after the episode in GDL, I spoke with them more. Be it the fact that I was depressed and wanted anyone to talk to, or the fact that here I was Mr. Skinny and Good looking now, and they just paid more attention to me because of that. Whichever, closer I got. Especially to one. I remember I had seen her in the building in the past, and I actually had always wondered who she was, because she was quite beautiful. She was of Mexican descent (which is a plus) and had a nice body and a great smile. Her eyes, although not colored (they were just plain brown) seemed to stand out to me. They seemed to pierce wherever they looked, as if she could see right through the walls. Her hair was naturally curly, and when she didn't pull it back tight, or it wasn't wearing the "wet" look, frizzed up a bit. Almost a mini afro. And for some reason, unbeknownst to me, I found that attractive. Heck, I wasn't the only one who thought she was, I remember lots of guys saying she was "hot." But at the time I didn't know her name, or which floor she worked on, only seeing her in the elevator every now and again. But of course, that would soon change.
They had started hiring lots of extra phone agents and rearranging the 10th floor Customer Service Call Center, so because of that they jumbled the seating arrangement. I ended up moving to the other side of the room, sitting next to a whole new group of people. Some of the 10th floor reps were part of that group, including the frizzy hair woman I had only seen in the elevator. Turns out I just happened to be seated on the other side of the little cubicle wall, which was no more then three feet higher then the table top. I couldn't see her face while I worked, but I could easily hear her, and she could hear me. As I worked I remember I became friends with the group, including her. Her name, Marcy Rafferty. Turns out she was older then me, her being 31, to my 22 years old. She had a son, who was about 8, but had been divorced from her husband for quite some time. She drove a red Jeep Wrangler, and smoked on every break. It seems like she was exactly what I would never like, just the smoking alone would usually axe the concept from my mind. But something was different about her. She was rough around the edges, she was tough, she was sarcastic, she had a very strong personality, she knew what she wanted. She was older after all. We became closer friends by leaps and bounds, and I learned things about her I didn't agree with. Seems that she had a little black book of numbers of "friends" that she could call if she ever needed "services" rendered. I guess people had seen us talking a lot, so the rumors of her and me starting flying everywhere. But I was not the only rumor she had ever been talked about with. Turned out she "got around" and dated many of the males in the department and in the company. I guess being divorced, she didn't have that regular answer to her needs, so she found men that would give her what she needed, most of the time with no strings attached. She was very casual about that. And soon she was wanting to hang out and do things outside of work. "Why don't you come over and watch a movie or something this weekend?" She would always ask. I would turn her down on each occasion, thinking that if I kept our friendship just a "work" thing it somehow wouldn't effect me. I didn't want her to think that I was going to be one of her "friends" because honestly that isn't my style. I didn't want to give her the impression that I was some mindless buffoon who she could just snap her fingers and I would come ready to get it on. No, no, that wasn't me. She lived a very different lifestyle then mine, almost the complete moral opposite. I don't want to say she was a whore, but she was a woman who knew what she wanted and got it. So here I am, getting to know her, flirting with her at every opportunity, yet still trying to keep it in control. How I was fooling myself.
As more time passed, the flirting was constant. Most of our conversations were about sex, and the possibility of what if?. What if we were to go get drinks and then be a bit buzzed, what would happen with us? What if we were alone somehow, would something happen between us? The questions flew left and right, all the while her asking me to go here and there with her, and me denying her everytime. I wanted to say YES but I couldn't. I stood for everything she didn't, for love, for longterm relationships, for sex after marriage. Call me old fashioned, but that's how I was raised and that's how I live. She was wearing me down though I could tell, it wouldn't be long after she got the better of me. It wasn't long at all.
I remember it was a Friday, a payday at that. The talk in the office was about the after work party at a nearby club/bar. I had never even been to a club, and when they asked me I of course politely denied. But Marcy didn't give in, she kept on. All day long, she pestered me, telling me, almost begging me to go with her and the other co workers to the club. I think it was about 3:3o pm or so that I had finally had enough. I finally told her, that I "might" go. This small victory must have meant something more to her, because she left it at that. The pestering all but stopped. The truth is even though I said "might" I still had no intention of going that night, it was just a ploy to get her to stop pestering me. But as I sat at my desk, the evil thought came into my mind. That evil thought being "why not go?" As I dwelled on it more, it fermented my mind, and began to grow, spreading it's thorny bushes of evil into my reasoning.
"Why not go? It won't be that bad, I mean you won't even stay long. How bad can it be to get a few drinks with Marcy and the others? She had invited you, and seemed like she really wanted you to go, why be such a party pooper? Plus look at you, what are you trying to be? Mr. Gentleman? Mr. Nice Guy? You were that to Gaby, and look where that got you?"
The thoughts attacked my mind with tremendous force, until finally I gave in. I was going to go. But I wasn't going to go alone. I picked up the phone and called Matt. He wasn't working at the time, he could go with me. He could watch me and make sure everything was cool. He would watch my back. I dialed and the phone rang.
Matt: Hello
Me: Hey dude...
Matt: Sup?
Me: You wanna go to Park Place tonight?
Matt: (laughing) Yeah right...
Me: I'm serious, you wanna go? Some people from work are going...
Matt: For Real??
Me: Yes, for real...
Matt: I don't have money dude...
Me: I'll getcha, don't worry..
Matt: alright...you sure?
Me: Yeah, it's cool...just pick me up from work.
Matt: alright, i will, laterz
Me: Laterz.
Matt had been in disbelief. Me? Robbie the nice guy who was well behaved and hardly drank wanted to go to a club to drink? And then with the girls from work? I'm sure he couldn't believe it, because I myself couldn't believe it. But the decision was made. I didn't tell Marcy I had called Matt, and I just let her believe that I still "might" come that night. As the final hours of work passed, and as she was leaving she smiled and said "see you there right?" "yeah, of course" I answered in my sarcastic voice. Little did she know what lay ahead that night. Even less did I know.
They had started hiring lots of extra phone agents and rearranging the 10th floor Customer Service Call Center, so because of that they jumbled the seating arrangement. I ended up moving to the other side of the room, sitting next to a whole new group of people. Some of the 10th floor reps were part of that group, including the frizzy hair woman I had only seen in the elevator. Turns out I just happened to be seated on the other side of the little cubicle wall, which was no more then three feet higher then the table top. I couldn't see her face while I worked, but I could easily hear her, and she could hear me. As I worked I remember I became friends with the group, including her. Her name, Marcy Rafferty. Turns out she was older then me, her being 31, to my 22 years old. She had a son, who was about 8, but had been divorced from her husband for quite some time. She drove a red Jeep Wrangler, and smoked on every break. It seems like she was exactly what I would never like, just the smoking alone would usually axe the concept from my mind. But something was different about her. She was rough around the edges, she was tough, she was sarcastic, she had a very strong personality, she knew what she wanted. She was older after all. We became closer friends by leaps and bounds, and I learned things about her I didn't agree with. Seems that she had a little black book of numbers of "friends" that she could call if she ever needed "services" rendered. I guess people had seen us talking a lot, so the rumors of her and me starting flying everywhere. But I was not the only rumor she had ever been talked about with. Turned out she "got around" and dated many of the males in the department and in the company. I guess being divorced, she didn't have that regular answer to her needs, so she found men that would give her what she needed, most of the time with no strings attached. She was very casual about that. And soon she was wanting to hang out and do things outside of work. "Why don't you come over and watch a movie or something this weekend?" She would always ask. I would turn her down on each occasion, thinking that if I kept our friendship just a "work" thing it somehow wouldn't effect me. I didn't want her to think that I was going to be one of her "friends" because honestly that isn't my style. I didn't want to give her the impression that I was some mindless buffoon who she could just snap her fingers and I would come ready to get it on. No, no, that wasn't me. She lived a very different lifestyle then mine, almost the complete moral opposite. I don't want to say she was a whore, but she was a woman who knew what she wanted and got it. So here I am, getting to know her, flirting with her at every opportunity, yet still trying to keep it in control. How I was fooling myself.
As more time passed, the flirting was constant. Most of our conversations were about sex, and the possibility of what if?. What if we were to go get drinks and then be a bit buzzed, what would happen with us? What if we were alone somehow, would something happen between us? The questions flew left and right, all the while her asking me to go here and there with her, and me denying her everytime. I wanted to say YES but I couldn't. I stood for everything she didn't, for love, for longterm relationships, for sex after marriage. Call me old fashioned, but that's how I was raised and that's how I live. She was wearing me down though I could tell, it wouldn't be long after she got the better of me. It wasn't long at all.
I remember it was a Friday, a payday at that. The talk in the office was about the after work party at a nearby club/bar. I had never even been to a club, and when they asked me I of course politely denied. But Marcy didn't give in, she kept on. All day long, she pestered me, telling me, almost begging me to go with her and the other co workers to the club. I think it was about 3:3o pm or so that I had finally had enough. I finally told her, that I "might" go. This small victory must have meant something more to her, because she left it at that. The pestering all but stopped. The truth is even though I said "might" I still had no intention of going that night, it was just a ploy to get her to stop pestering me. But as I sat at my desk, the evil thought came into my mind. That evil thought being "why not go?" As I dwelled on it more, it fermented my mind, and began to grow, spreading it's thorny bushes of evil into my reasoning.
"Why not go? It won't be that bad, I mean you won't even stay long. How bad can it be to get a few drinks with Marcy and the others? She had invited you, and seemed like she really wanted you to go, why be such a party pooper? Plus look at you, what are you trying to be? Mr. Gentleman? Mr. Nice Guy? You were that to Gaby, and look where that got you?"
The thoughts attacked my mind with tremendous force, until finally I gave in. I was going to go. But I wasn't going to go alone. I picked up the phone and called Matt. He wasn't working at the time, he could go with me. He could watch me and make sure everything was cool. He would watch my back. I dialed and the phone rang.
Matt: Hello
Me: Hey dude...
Matt: Sup?
Me: You wanna go to Park Place tonight?
Matt: (laughing) Yeah right...
Me: I'm serious, you wanna go? Some people from work are going...
Matt: For Real??
Me: Yes, for real...
Matt: I don't have money dude...
Me: I'll getcha, don't worry..
Matt: alright...you sure?
Me: Yeah, it's cool...just pick me up from work.
Matt: alright, i will, laterz
Me: Laterz.
Matt had been in disbelief. Me? Robbie the nice guy who was well behaved and hardly drank wanted to go to a club to drink? And then with the girls from work? I'm sure he couldn't believe it, because I myself couldn't believe it. But the decision was made. I didn't tell Marcy I had called Matt, and I just let her believe that I still "might" come that night. As the final hours of work passed, and as she was leaving she smiled and said "see you there right?" "yeah, of course" I answered in my sarcastic voice. Little did she know what lay ahead that night. Even less did I know.
posted by Roberto Campana | 5:22 PM
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